My breastfeeding story so far...

Hi ☺

while I was still pregnant myself and hubby decided I would try to breastfeed when we had the baby. It seemed like the logical thing to do, every midwife we spoke to basically told us it was my Duty to try it as it was better for the baby etc and it was cheaper than formula.
So when baby was born (from now on I will call her EmJ ) I started to feed her myself.  However, I was in hospital for a few days after her birth as I was a bit ill, and I found it very difficult to feed her. I couldn't figure out how to get her to latch on properly so I kept having to ask for help. EmJ would lick around the nipple and put it in her mouth but then wouldn't actually suck. When I kept asking for help the midwives or nurses would latch her on without telling me what I was doing wrong or what I should be doing.
Some of you may be reading this and thinking well breastfeeding is natural you should just know how to do it!But I genuinely didn't.
When we left the hospital I found it even harder as she would only latch on occasionally, and the less she was feeding the more tired she was getting which we thought was normal as newborns sleep a lot. We thought she just wasn't a very hungry baby. I tried to feed her every few hours but she wouldn't have it and we didn't know any better.
So when the midwife came out the day after we got sent home, she weighed EmJ and realised she had lost 12.1% weight, and we had to go back into hospital.
We were on the proper children's ward this time and they did a lot of tests to see if there was a reason she wouldn't feed, but I told them I thought it was just because I didn't know what I was doing. They measured her glucose and it was very low which was why she was so tired, and she was too tired to feed properly. However I did have a lot of colostrum,  so I expressed into a cup and the midwives cup fed emj until she had enough energy to feed herself. All her tests came back fine and after a few days in hospital, with the lovely nurses showing me how to breastfeed and encouraging me, emj gained weight and had more energy and was allowed home.
Since we have returned home she has been feeding every few hours and has put on weight. The breastfeeding team ring us regularly to make sure we are still coping fine and emj is still feeding properly which I think is good as it encourages me to continue with it rather than swapping to bottles.

The reason I wanted to share this story is because no one really talks about what happens if you don't know how to feed your baby as it is thought to be a natural thing.  And believe me I felt awful, I felt like I had failed her and failed as a mother. I was embarrassed that I couldn't do the basics of looking after a baby and I was so close to giving up and bottle feeding but with the support of hubby and the children's ward I now know that to some women it is difficult. I am sure there are other women who have gone through the same as me and I just want them to know that they didn't fail, and as long as they do what is best for them and the baby then they are a successful parent.

💖 xxx