I posted a tweet on Wednesday saying I had taken EmJ to our first baby group and we had been judged by some of the women. The reason they were judging me was mainly because I express milk and give it to EmJ in a bottle if we are out, and they all said they would never give their babies a bottle (despite it still being breastmilk) and kept telling me I wasn't doing what was best for EmJ as if she was having milk from a bottle then we wouldn't be bonding.
I disagree with this as I still cuddle her into me, I still talk to her and look into her eyes while feeding her and she can be fed by her dad too. The reason I started expressing more was because it was painful for her to feed directly from the boob one day and if I hadn't expressed then I would have just given up and gave her formula. Because I could express and it didn't hurt, it gave my breast time to recover and it meant I was still giving her breast milk. I also don't think they have any right to comment, as surely as long as the baby is getting milk it doesn't matter if it is from breast directly, breast milk from a bottle or formula. I was only given formula and I turned out fine as did my sister!
They also told me off for giving EmJ a dummy,despite me being advised to by the health visitor. EmJ used to comfort feed, as she just wanted to suck something but ended up making herself be sick. So we gave her a dummy. She is happy with it, and we don't give her it instead of feeds we give her it when we know she definitely isn't hungry. They all told me that we were doing a bad thing as babies shouldn't have dummies and they would never give their child one.
I would like to point out that I also had a dummy when I was a dummy and I am fine, and I have perfect teeth so it didn't affect me badly at all. We know when EmJ is hungry and when she just wants comfort,and it means she doesn't make herself sick which can only be a good thing! She won't have it forever, and as soon as she starts getting teeth we would try to take it off her.
I was also criticised for going to EmJ as soon as she starts crying as they let theirs cry unless they start choking from the crying. They said she would grow up to be spoilt and clingy and it wouldn't be good for her.
I know I probably shouldn't go straight to her but I have tried not doing that and she just cried louder. She also doesn't cry unless there is a reason, even if occasionally that reason is just that she needs a cuddle (she actually doesn't often cry for a cuddle). I don't think she will grow up spoilt, I think she will grow up knowing that I am always there for her and she can depend on me. I would rather cuddle her than let her scream and cry and think that I don't care. A lot of babies would probably be fine not being picked up when they cried and would stop crying but as I said she only cries when there is a reason.
There was more things that I got criticised for but I know my child, and I know what makes her happy and what upsets her. I know what is best for her, and for me. She is growing perfectly, she is putting on the right amount of weight, she laughs giggles and plays and she loves when I sing and read to her. She loves to cuddle her blanket, and she likes being in her swing chair. She can hold and support her head and has been able to since she was born. She loves tummy time and tries to crawl. She tries to talk and babbles away to herself. The health visitors are very pleased with her progress and have said she is quote advanced for her age.
When she had her injections she was very upset but as soon as I took her off her dad she snuggled into me and went to sleep. She did whinge a bit later but she calmed down when I cuddled her. This is because she knows I am comfort, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
This has been a bit of a long ranty post and for that I am sorry but I don't like the fact that some mothers judge others for doing something different to what they do. In my opinion as long as the baby is happy and healthy and being loved then it doesn't matter if they have a dummy, or if they are breastfed or bottle fed. Basically the point of this post is to say that you know your child and you know what is best for your child. Ignore anyone who criticises or judges you, and keep doing what is right for your child.
If I had had EmJ a few years ago, I would probably have changed the way I was parenting thinking I was doing it wrong because of what the women said to me. But now I am a bit older and a bit more confident I know that my baby is thriving and is happy and healthy. I'm not going to change the way I parent and if I end up giving EmJ formula as well as or instead of breast milk eventually then there will be a reason for it and it will be in her best interests.
Has anyone judged you for anything?
Xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment